


What He Used To Be

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Buckets of sadness, Bullying, Carl has a gang, Deaf Character, Heavy Angst, Jim has a sister, No Romance, One-Sided Sherlock Holmes/Jim Moriarty, Other, Protective Jim, Serious Issues, Sibling Love, a lot of sadness, bullying taken too far, it's not happy, just lots of implied sadness, no happy ending, oh no, there's no tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 12:09:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9122986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 'it's too cold outsidefor the angels to fly'Jim thinks. Jim remembers. Jim tries to keep the past in the past.[or, Jim wishes his sister was still here.]





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is angsty. Very angsty.  
> (written while watching the goblet of fire. well done, me.)

_**'are you insane like me?** _  
_**been in pain like me?'**_  
_Halsey, Gasoline._

Jim remembers everything.

He tries not to focus on the old memories. He knows that if he does, they will threaten to overtake the real world. If he does, then he just might become lost in the past. He doesn’t focus on those.

Instead, Jim focuses on the good things. He focuses on how he’s left _them_ behind, how there’s no way for them to get back at him, how there is no way for them to catch up to the one who was always smarter than them, always one step ahead.

Jim was always smarter than them. The first imbecile to make fun of him, of her, died. That imbecile was Carl Powers. Carl Powers, the one who insulted his sister. Carl Powers, the one who bullied others purely for the pleasure it brought him. Carl Powers, the one who thought that he was the only one who deserved to have success.

Carl Powers, who killed his sister Lily.

But it wasn’t just Carl, oh no. It was Carl’s little gang of mindless fools, the ones who hurt _his sister_ for being deaf, for being unable to hear, for being less than them (in their own, stupid words; words he, of course, did not believe).

No, it was those people as a collective, as a _group_ who killed her. Jim never forgave them for killing his sister. Killing _his_ Lily.

When Jim found Lily on that fateful day, she was bleeding. He never spoke a word in school again. Trauma, his parents claimed. The teachers knew no better. He kept it that way. Of course, they all assumed he was terribly upset by both his sister and Carl Powers’ death.

In truth, he was only upset by one. After all, he could never feel sorry for a _completely accidental_ death such as Carl’s. Oh, no. That would never happen. All he could feel sorry for was that Carl never felt as much pain as Lily had before she finally passed away.

Jim can never forget about his sister. She’s the reason he became what he is. She’s his reason for living, even after her death. Without Lily, criminal mastermind James Moriarty would never exist.

And so, he continues his work, in memory of his dearest sister Lily. He remembers what he used to be, that frail, naive little boy he once was, but he never lets himself become that again. He’s stronger, now, and he won’t let anyone forget that. And now he’s got Sherlock to distract him from the past. 

Now he's got a game to play, and a person to play his games with. What fun he'll have.


End file.
